Abuse by Clergy Never Goes Away

by David Brown
Printed October 22, 2008 in The Memphis News,  www.theMemphisNews.com at the following link:
http://www.memphisdailynews.com/WeeklyPdf/10222008-Vol1-No19.pdf

In 1961 I was entrusted with a sacred secret. It was a secret I neither wanted nor deserved – yet there it was.

 What was I to do with it? Who in the world would believe me if I spoke about my secret and how I obtained it? I feared no one would believe me, so I did what so many other holders of the sacred secret did. I tucked it away until I felt I could share it. Sadly, so many holders of that sacred secret have taken it to their graves, never saying one word about how they obtained theirs.

When did I finally share the sacred secret? 1996! It took me more than 35 years to have the courage to share it. And it was not until 2005 that I revealed the whole wretched story.

My sacred secret was created in 1961 when my mentor, one of the priests I looked up to, took my innocence in the worst of ways. He forced me to commit perverted sexual acts.

He took my trust and transparency and used them for his benefit. That is how pedophile ministers work. They groom their young victims. They are not in a rush. Time is on their side.

Why, the perpetrators are not the monsters or evil people that our parents and teachers have warned us to stay away from – besides, where can you be safer than to be under the protection of your minister?  I often tell people that in 1961 I became a victim, in 1996 I became a survivor, and in 2005 I became an advocate.

Please don’t pity me. I don’t need it, but I do need your prayers. I work with so many victims who have been abused by a trusted clergy member and have lost their faith. Don’t pity those victims; lift them up in prayer. 

Why does this road to recovery have to be so hard? Way too many religious leaders and administrators are not willing to admit one of their own could do something as evil as sexually abuse a minor. They are slow to respond.

They use phrases such as “under the blood,” “These are uncharted waters,” or “I have never encountered something like this before.”

Well-meaning faithful are to blame, too, when they fail to report suspected abuse. They err on the side of the pedophile instead of helping the victim. That is wrong.

 I just completed a video project with Andrea Conte, the wife of Gov. Phil Bredsen. It is titled “Sacred Secret.” Watch it.

It truly is a must-see for the faith community. I should know.

David Brown is director of SNAP of Tennessee (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests).

Related link:
Question - did Paul St. Charles abuse at SHC?