Abusing a teenager

There are people out there who simply do not believe that it is possible to abuse a teenager. I've talked to them, and their logic, or lack thereof, is amazing. Their ignorance of abuse and how is occurs is even more astounding.

Apparently, when you are a teenager, you are supposed to be equipped with all the tools in a human being's arsenal to thwart any intrusion into your life. Never mind that the teenage years, as I recall, are times of great uncertainty, lack of confidence, fumbling social steps forward . . . and steps backward. Never mind that there are dozens of frightening and confusing events facing the teenager almost daily, almost hourly. Never mind that you feel ugly, fat, awkward, insignificant and a hundred other negative things.

But to this group of observers, a teenager should repel the spiritual leader who controls his or her sphere of reference, the person in charge of his or her school, church, or diocese. A teenager should readily stand up and stop abuse by his or her mentor, the person who comes to dinner, the cleric whose virtues his or her parents extol on every possible occasion so that their children will love the church, the priest who everyone says is such a holy man.

The absolute certainty that these people have that it is just that easy . . . say "No" to an authority figure of the highest spiritual stature in your life at that time. It's easy, they say. Just say "No." Just push him down and run. Just tell your parents.

The utter naivete of this view takes my breath away.

After you are plied with alcohol, drugs, and pornography or any combination thereof, the abuser will have his or her way, and you are powerless whether you are 5 or 15 or 25 or . . . whatever.

When the perpetrator says, "It's okay. This is how you receive a special communion from me." You lose faith.

When the perpetrator says, "Your mother would be so ashamed of you if I told them what you did." You keep silent.

When the perpetrator says, "It's our special secret. It's how I show you I love you." You are emotionally bereft of future certitude in relationships.

When the perpetrator says, "Now go to confession and confess to God the sin you just did and the sin YOU made me do." You leave the church or attend wounded for the rest of your life.

Now self-righteous people, is it so clear-cut now? Or have you lost all perspective on life itself that you would blame a teenager for abuse rather than the twisted pervert who is raping, sodomizing, humiliating, destroying. . . .

People get a grip. A teenager is so much a child in formation. They need our protection as children in progress.

As for the pedophile who would do this to a teenager, I cannot write what I truly think should happen to this priest, nun, brother, minister, rabbi, etc.

Read my mind.